marlon brando sends his regrets to charlie sheen

"In September of 1991, unable to attend Charlie Sheen's 26th birthday bash due to illness, a worse-for-wear Marlon Brando- ever the wordsmith - flexed his creative muscle and scribbled the birthday boy this brief but amusing letter. Apology notes don't get much better.

Image: Thom Brayshay

Transcript

MARLON BRANDO

Dear Charlie,

I'm feeling like a very large turd on a very thin stick. I'm holed up in bed and taking everything from sled dog urine to powderde East Indian vulva — maybe won't work tomorrow if I feel the same.

I really feel bad for not showing up at your birthday bash but I really feel shitty and best stay in bed. I don't have much of a selection. I'm sure it will be a kick in the ass and I hate to miss it —

Happiest of birthdays to you, Charlie

Love,

Marlon

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2011/01/im-feeling-like-very-large-turd-on-very.html